Salford '95: a rave devotee with a penchant for Air Max cops an MPC1000 off the back of a lorry & a cheeky lend of a Korg MS-20 from a local sputnik huffer, feverishly setting to work with a battered pile of hardcore breaks and mad love for the dancefloor. A bunch of explosive warehouse cuts are rapidly thrown down before he switches off his machines and heads off down Bowlers for the usual weekend pleasantries. Returning many days later and trounced off a wild combo of mitsis and brown acid, DJ AB is devastated to learn that a crew of lads from Hyde have ransacked his bedsit scrounging for his last ten bag - leaving the recently recorded DAT nowhere to be seen. Thought to be lost this whole time, Red Laser CEO, Il Bosco (and distant Absolutely Shit family cuz) was 'unbelievably buzzing' and 'jizzing in my pants' upon happening across the item at one of his frequent car boot forays prompting a huge celebration down here at RLR HQ when we realized we'd finally be able to let the public in on this subversive aural gold from one of the scene's most elusive heads. A super limited white label EP containing 2 dancefloor bombs and a couple weirdo tracks were pressed and hawked in record time back in 2017, and now change hands for top dosh. At the time of writing there's only 1 for sale in the shark pool (discogs init) for a whopping £500 and has got a jizz stain and 'shane is a ball bag' written on it. Almost like someone (possibly DJ Ab Shit himself after hacking into a mates account) is taking the mick here, crossing their fingers for a Japanese investment banker with infinite yen to pull the trigger only to be sent a jizz stain and no record via recorded delivery for an extra £38 postage...Henkin nashi (no refunds) g... Anyway, for the second instalment from DJ Absolutely Shit and his first 'proper' release, Il Bosco (operating strictly within the original blueprints) has revisited these epochal rave musings and, alongside some help from extended Red Laser fam has tweaked em for modern playage. 1) A Night At Shelley's Laserdome (20.2k remaster) First released on that white label teaser, now the stuff of nightclub folklore; the original DJ Ab mega-anthem is given a proper release and kicks off the EP; destroying the discogs market value of the white label whilst delivering a bona fide and timeless slice of dance music history to those that need fulfilment. If you missed it first time round, expect rushing vox, tingly melodies and pure ruffage breaks. It's been touched up for maximum grunt too...Tidy! 2) Return To Shelley's (Metrodome, Il Bosco and Begin XR2 M6 mission) RL Cru on the remix tip! In house mastering specialist, LVLs beatmaker and probably the most underrated producer in the universe, Metrodome joins old guard rukus maker, Begin aka James Holroyd and gets frisky after some warm tins and slack zoots in Bosco's studio. Conjuring up a focussed remix that cracks and thuds HARD we like this new version as much as the OG. Two pharaohs please Dudderz - sharpish! 3) Cut Those Tory's Down To Nowt Lauded for causing the infamous White hotel 'flasher' to vacate his crow's nest and hit the dancefloor unabashed, it's hard to ignore that rugged bassline and those gliding synth stabs. Throw in some proper b-boy biznis like live scratches and vocodered vox and it's a veritable tapestry of warehouse music wondertropes tha'll find mass appeal at large late nite gatherings... 4) Bang Into Breakbeach Sourced from a crusted minidisc and dated sometime around 2003, a track for the smokers and the after party. A chilled instrumental laced with seductive horns and a baggy break, it harks back to that original Grand Central sound and proudly dons its favourite pair of Nikes for the occasion. Head nodding goodness from beginning to end and a beat so catchy fuckin' Jay-Z's queuing up to drop a verse or two on it... Only recently dipping out of the wilderness to allegedly and briefly appear at the legendary Pomona Island raves bellowing his infamous catchphrase 'INABITEVERYONEELSE' over the mic, DJ Absolutely Shit's whereabouts remain a bit of a mystery with even Il Bosco 'not being able to get hold of the turd'. Spray canned graffiti throughout the city centre suggests that he's still active. That or a load of NOS-quaffing, snap-mapping yoot have gotten onto the myth and have been mimicking his tags in town for a buzz. Who knows...Perhaps news of the Red Laser crew creaming the coin offa the top of his crusty old DAT tapes will coax him back into the fold...he probably couldn't be arsed though...